When preparing to move to the Nashville area I got rid of a lot of my stuff; nearly all of my Star Wars books and toys, a lot of video game consoles and games, and a bunch of Spider-Man and X-Men toys. Well, we are planning another move within the next year and decided to liquidate more stuff via garage sale. Letting go is getting easier and easier to do. And a nice benefit is a little extra cash and less crap to move.
So we get up at 5 A.M. on a Saturday morning and begin the setup phase. Putting out shelves with books, toys, clothes and even a Christmas train set (man that thing was AWESOME). By 10 we had been at it a while and the sun was already beating down punishingly and we were tired. My wife ran an idea by us, how about letting everything left go for free. We said, yeah, that sounds great, we've done well and let's blow the rest of this out.
So to Facebook she went and she made a post. The next couple people to show up didn't know we had gone to a "take our shit and go" model and when free was mentioned they got a little weird and left. The 3 of us looked at each other a little confused. But the confusion didn't last long as we were swarmed like we were a doughnut at a Weight Watchers meeting. Holy crap, these people came out of nowhere.
These garage sale vultures came with the glory in their eyes and an expectation of secret treasures to be snatched up. Yeah, some things that should have gone for a decent price were grabbed for the low cost of nothing, but on the bright side, as previously stated, I no longer have to move this stuff anymore.
This brings me back around to the title: The Trampoline. We had a tote with the trampoline bed and springs in it. The frame was still out back in the yard shed. I didn't feel like hauling that mess of poles until we had an interested person. Well, I went in to use the bathroom at one point, it was hot and I had had a lot of Monster, and when I came back out my wife told me the trampoline had been taken and that the lady would be back for the frame.
This is great! A trampoline is right up there with a ping pong table as being obnoxious to move. About noon we close up the sale, break everything down and start to get cleaned up to run some errands. Then the lady texts and says that she's leaving home and can she come by and get the frame. We say sure and then she texts that it would be about an hour. We all look at each other and think and say that this sucks, that we're kinda held a little hostage by this. We ask if the lady can come back the next day, Sunday 7/13 and she says fine, she'll let us know.
Awesome! We go out and run our errands. We come home and fall asleep. We wake up the next morning and we get a text at 9 A.M. asking if they can come by at 10 A.M. Normally a text that early would not be received well, but we were wanting this thing gone and we say that it totally fine. Now I have an hour to kill. I get dressed and start to make pancakes. At 9:30 we have a knock on the door and it's the trampoline people. My wife says that they're early and that I was cooking some breakfast and if they could give us a few moments we'd be right with them. By the way, how does one get from a house an hour away in 30 minutes? Do they have a DeLorean that can work wonder at 88 MPH? Were they traveling by TARDIS? Anyway, I hand over breakfast duties to my wife and get my shoes on to outside and find they are gone.
GONE?!?!?! What the hell is that about. My gets a text saying forget it and they have never been treated so rudely before. Now at this point I bruised my jaw because it hit the floor. Rude. Rude? Asking someone to hang a few moments was rude? What about showing up 30 FUCKING MINUTES EARLY THAN JUST AGREED UPON? Isn't that rude?
I tell my wife to just text her and say I am getting the frame pieces together and to come back and get them. (They couldn't be more than 5 minutes away by now, but of course they way the travel they could have been halfway to Texarcana.) They say no. I keep dragging the frame up from the shed, about 4 trips, and my wife comes out and says I should stop because they aren't coming back and that the next time they are in Spring Hill (the town I currently live in) they will bring the other parts back. I say bullshit, this trampoline is becoming a complete set again today, one way or another. Either they come and take the remaining pieces or bring back the springs and trampoline bed or I am calling the police. Yes, we gave it to them, but the second they said they weren't taking the frame and would bring the rest back at their convenience I was going to charge them with theft. (Listen, I really don't know if I would have had a leg to stand on, but I was hot, sweaty and pissed off. And I was DONE. Done with this nonsense.)
I finished bringing up the pieces and went back inside to cool off and looked up at the clock and it was 10. Huh? 10, the originally agreed upon time. 10, the time this whole mess could have been over with. As I sit down to cool off I ask for my wife's phone and text her the spiel about the set needing to become a complete today and no later or I would call the police. I mean Hell, we had her name and cell number, it's not like we had nothing to go with. (No, I will not share it here. Telling the story is vindication enough.)
Well, mentioning the LAW finally got her to return the calls and messages she been so awesomely ignoring since they drove off in huff in the face of our epic rudeness. (Yeah, it was hard to type that with a straight face.) She says there is nothing the police can do while I didn't have the phone I could hear her and I yelled across the room, "Try me. I'll call and we'll get this ball rolling." (or something similar) My wife then asks what was so rude, what the hell had happened? She said, now this is getting really hard to type, that my wife was ugly to her and didn't greet her. Greet her. Greet her? My wife said, "Oh, you're early and my husband (that's me) is cooking breakfast and could you give us a couple seconds" and then they bailed.
My wife shot back immediately, "Greet you? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FUCKING CURTSEY?!"
At this I lost my shit. There was shit lost and it used to be mine. I looked at my daughter and did the deepest curtsey to her I could. We just laughed at each other. My wife then said just come back and get the frame, it's all outside and they wouldn't have to deal with us or talk to us anymore.
About 45 minutes later we heard the clanging of the frame being collected and taken away. The three of u all looked at each other and just started laughing because we didn't know what else to do. Who knew it would be this hard to give something away for free?